Monday, 15 July 2013

I'm fine

I'm fine, thanks for asking
Fine: that word that has myriad meanings
That really amount to an understatement of something
A lot deeper, something brooding and grey
Far from good, but a few rungs up the ladder from
Not good, which is another way of saying bad.
I'm fine, that blow off phrase
Used to distance feigned concern, or to create breathing space,
An apathetic response.
I am fine.
Uncaring answer to an uncaring question,
Posed mainly as an afterthought, having already
Divulged yourself of what you felt was important to put into words
Because you're not fine, or you have an axe to grind
Or you simply feel pissed off about something small or trivial or sometimes big
And my ears are attentive, and my heart open
Hopeful of exchange
But no.

I am fine.
Just fine.
Forget my hurt. Let's deal with yours.
It is infinitely more interesting, or so you seem to think.
My smile hides the pain I don't want you to see.
But you don't know, until I lapse into silence
And simply fade away.

Fine.

I am fine.

Wooden word. Token statement. Empty gesture.

Make of it what you will.